Russell Peters @ Yuk Yuk's

Damn Russell Peters was damn funny on Saturday. The usual suspects were out + a CSer from UW named Salas (last name), and with Steve doing 140 on the 401 in the fog we made it to Yuk Yuk's Mississauga with plenty time to spare.

This was my first time at Yuk Yuk's. It's smaller than I thought it'd be... and a lot more intimate. There's a small stage, and a bunch of tables with chairs all around. It was packed; every seat occupied. Suddenly the room darkened, and the opening comedian (gay farmboy from Manitoba with a striking resemblance to Mats Sundin) assumed the stage. The spotlight was on him, and the background was decked out like a brick wall.

Russell Peters assumed the stage after a half hour or so, and he was at his smarmy, cocky, casual best. Of course, he commenced with his usual reportoire of ethnic jokes:

RP: (points to random guy at the front): Hey man you Italian?
Guy (nods head)
RP: I knew you were Italian. You know how I knew you were Italian? You've been staring at these fucking bricks too long!

Along the way he also "poked fun" of Gino Greeks & Portuguese and Indians with Portuguese names, Italians and Chinese and Italians stealing noodles from Chinese ("We get you back Mario!") Spanish who can 'spic it up on the dance floor, Nigerians, wannabe Persian Ginos, Pakistanis, cheap Indians, Sri Lankans, HK Chinese, Mandarin Chinese, Mexicans, South Americans, Slovenians, midgets, deaf volleyball players, hoser Canucks holding beer like they've won the Academy Award, Brampton, "Singhdale", 'Sauga, the entire Durham region, his high school, 19&20 year old Usher wannabes at the clubs - all in the span of about an hour. And - remarkably - he managed to do his entire standup routine without mentioning his dad once.

Comedic Highlights:
"I just got back from China... in English we have filler words, like "umm" and "ahh". Well in Mandarin they dont' use "umms" and "aahs". They have one filler word - it's "nee-ga". I shit you not. Nee-ga nee-ga. That's what they say. So I was waiting in line at the KFC and there was a Nigerian woman in front of me. The one black woman in China, and she finds herself to a KFC. (laughter) And I knew she was Nigerian because she looked at me and said "I-don-kno-what-to-or-da" (mocking Nigerian accent). (more laughter) Next to us a little Chinese boy comes up and he cries out "nee-ga nee-ga". And for a second swear the Nigerian woman had the funniest look."

(I have noticed this myself while at the MC Lab. Mandarin people say Nee-ga a lot and I've always been taken aback by that... luckily there are no black people around in UW. And Russell also noted that Mandarin people grit their teeth while talking "shee-shoo-seesheashoausshaow", while Cantonese extend every word "neeeee-hooooowww-maaaaaaaaa". One time Russell was yawning and a Cantonese guy approached him. "Wat you say ass-ho". So I should be able to differentiate mainland and HK people now... =) )

Another comedic gold:
"Pickering is the last exit on the 401 for non-white poeple. Don't think we're not catching on... Ajax - what the fuck is Ajax? Ajax is detergent that makes shit white! And Whitby? Whitby is White Boy without the 'e' and the 'o'! And what's with all the Whites Roads in Durham? Brown people - we got a line. Brown's Line. But Black people got screwed over. They got a creek!"

..There were so many other comedic gems. I swear, this man MUST be the funniest man in Canada. Who else can exploit ethnic stereotypes like he can? (Certainly being a minority, he has a certain degree of immunity so he can say stuff white comics can't).

Anyhow, we were all thrilled about seeing Russell again at UW, but much to our dismay tickets to the Russell Peters show here at UW are already sold out. www.uwcrew.ca had released the tickets at 8 AM today, so people could make online reservations. So James logs on around around 8:10 this morning? Guess what? Tickets are all sold out! How fucked is that? What kinda shit sells THAT FAST?!