Campbell's Scoop: The return of my weirdness

Hello all,

So my Liverpool FC team is doing pretty well. Won’t bother going into the details, no one gives a shit anyway…

Anyway I’ve been having my weird dreams again and this time it’s actually starting to scare me. It’s consistent and for the past couple of nights, it has been one crazy dream after another.

Dream #1: Wet Stamina

I’ll start with one where I dreamt that I got a free “try out Liverpool FC” offer. That means that I got to go and train with the players at the club. Was it ever good experience and I really turned on my instinctive soccer skills that even the players at Liverpool were impressed. So anyway, this dream progresses and I brag about it to my dad (still in the dream) and he just laughs at my claims so I set out to prove my stamina to him. I achieve this by SWIMMING to the mall and doing groceries, and then SWIMMING back. That’s about all I remember from that dream.

Dream #2: AC Milaniio

Ok another soccer dream. This one is even more nuts. I dream that I am a star player for AC Milan (a soccer team from Italy) however I have this one problem with my coach. You see, you’d figure that a star Canadian player would be allowed to take a couple of days leave once in a while to explore Italy. But no, this coach is stupid and he absolutely forbids me. So what do I do? I run for freedom and to ROME. I dress up as a tourist and sneak away from my team for a couple of days and explore Rome. I get help from locals and they show me the “secret” tunnels of Rome. Although I initially disguised myself so that no one would notice me, somehow my clothes keep turning back into my team uniform and before you know it, I have the Italian police after me. So in an attempt to make amends, I try to run back to the soccer stadium and join the team. But I get lost in the way and the damn cops get me. So my coach gets them to whip me. Yeah man, they tied me up and whipped me because I took a tour of Rome. Damn Italians.

Dream #3: I need my pain killers

Alright to all my fellow Waterloo science students, specifically biology students, this one concerns you. There is something you need to know about Prof Barbara Moffat (Bio 330). She is using her profession of a biologist only as a cover more evil job as a …DENTAL SURGEON! (Well, at least in my nightmare from two days ago). You see during the break , I got my wisdom teeth taken out and in my dream, Prof Moffat had a look at my teeth and said that the guy who took it out (in real life) had made a mistake and that my teeth needed to be “fixed”. Without saying anything, she grabs some pliers and starts to rip out teeth after teeth from my mouth. I was screaming and yelling but no, she relentlessly continued to rip out teeth from my mouth. No anesthesia, no morphine, no warning. My teeth were gone. Then I woke up.

As a tribute to that dream/nightmare though, I told James Poet about it and we wrote a song about it the day after. Haha, well at least something good came out of it.