'Tis the Season for Reflecting...

If I could define the past four months in a nutshell, it would be with one word: rocky. From a professional standpoint, the experience was excellent. I learned a lot about the health consulting business, and the exposure was tremendous. From my travels about New York City and New England, I saw parts of America – both the good and the bad – and through living here I learned a lot about how American society operates. But what I will take away most from this experience is the things I’ve learned “off the court”, about human nature in general.

I think my term could be roughly divided into two epochs: Pre and Post SOA-exam - Nov 7th being the transition point - in which I wrestled with two aspects of my personal growth, IQ and EQ.

My life pre-SOA was dictated by the exam, and having that exam put my life in balance and gave me a sense of purpose, because there was a goal there and I was steadily working to achieve it. This is where I flexed my IQ.

Post-exam things were different. Not having the exam to worry about gave me a lot of free time and freed me to pursue other things. And given my isolation and all the time spent in solitary confinement, it put me in an introspective mood and got me thinking a lot, maybe too much! And this is where – I like to think – I honed my EQ.

Much of my experience was defined by my relations with the other intern. The person I saw the first few weeks was clever and charming, with an incredibly scathing wit – our banter was always sharp and funny, and we related well – it was great. Underscoring this there seemed to be (I felt) a genuine mutual respect, and a bond arising from our shared experience as two Canadian interns from the same school and the same program living in the same building, working at the same company in adjacent cubicles, marooned in a city hundreds of miles from home. I had feared that I would be stuck with someone I wouldn’t get along with, but this person turned out to be pretty cool, and I thought this would be a fun four months in Connecticut.

Then things fissured and started to go sour, and I perceived a colder, more testy metamorphosis to this character. I was taken aback by the rather sudden chilly reception. Was this the same person I had once known and genuinely liked?

In hindsight, I think it was clearly the ‘astute’ debacle that was the turning point, and things were never really the same afterwards. With that one innocent, unintentional remark I had managed to pique at this person’s insecurities and allay them to the fore.

Looking back, I am filled with regret, because I look at what could have been if we had developed a friendship - it would have made for a more thoroughly enjoyable few months in Stamford for sure. And I think it could have been possible given our cordial, amicable relations the first few weeks, and I am upset at how it all went astray.

And so what I will take away most from this experience is the life lessons learned. Being put in isolation with a couple of people whose relationship with you was very friendly at first - but then took a sudden turn for the worse - was rough. It put me in a compromising situation, as I was forced to relate to certain personality types that I wasn’t quite used to on a day-to-day basis. And whereas in Toronto I had the support network of family and friends whom I could rely upon, here my isolation compounded my aggravation all the more. The people from work were the only people I knew here, so really I had no one else, and it kind of made for a solitary, existentialist existence.

And this is why meeting up with Faisal and James in New York and Bharat in Boston and the Gangster Actuary in Hartford was such a welcome reprieve, because it was a relief to be once again with the sort of people I’m used to. What a breath of fresh air!

It’s funny reading my parting words from another internship over a year ago, and the stark contrast to my experience here. However, in retrospect, I’m grateful for the exposure and have no regrets. The 4-months were a definite character-building experience, as I learned aspects about myself and about other people – as well as American society - that I would not have had I not been forced into such a circumstance with such people.

And so I hope to think I’ve come out a more emotionally understanding person, with a higher EQ. As I said to this same colleague during our heart-to-heart reconciliation upon our final departure from the office, I certainly would not have learned the things I did had things been so rosy 100% of the time, and in so far as that is true, I am grateful for this experience.


Stamford H&W Team