The Tale of 3 Clowns in Piccadilly Circus

Question for Two-point-Five Shots:

When I inputted that number-avec-email from Ms. 7 3/4 (upper bound estimate accounting for the beer goggle effect) into my cell, did you employ the cocky+funny technique?

To add context to the question, last evening Two-point-Five Shots plus Ken and I headed down to Piccadilly Circus (not the one in London) at the recommendation of BIG SUSHIL. Now the last time Two-point-Five Shots plus Ken went somewhere at the recommendation of BIG SUSHIL, Two-point-Five Shots plus Ken did not gain admittance into the recommended establishment - rather Two-point-Five Shots plus Ken arrived home trampled, bloodied, and bruised from waiting in queue. Thus, the three concerned parties understandably approached this with a little caution.

After a pitcher of Red's and a pitcher of Moosehead at an Irish pub Gabby's, we walked the two blocks to Piccadilly Circus - it was indeed a British Isles night. The place was packed with students - kinda like a more loud, upscale Phil's. Unfortunately, so were the demographics. The aptly named Piccadilly Circus was 95% honkyoid - and no I'm not talking smooth olive Meditteranean Gina white but pasty pink Anglo white. This surprisingly wasn't at all representative of the diversity of Toronto - 1950 WASP Toronto sure but not 2005 Toronto! Needless to say, this wasn’t much to either Ken (Mr. Mainland) or my (anything from Asia - East, South or West) liking. Granted, the place was called Piccadilly Circus, but I hadn’t realized that this would be some kinda “Anglo only” refuge. Perhaps a more appropriate name would've been Pick-A-Deli cause there was a whole lotta sausage.

Unfortunately my inebriation was not at all conducive to me doing the approach-and-chat and metamorphasize into what girls like - not a sweet effeminate pansyoid but a funny and mildly cocky guy strong with the verbality. So I wasn't my loquacious subcontinental self and this was due to a multitude of factors - among them dissapointment with the crowd demographics, the 8 decibel Shaggylific sound system (making conversation all but impossible), and the paradoxical tendency for alcohol to suppress my libido.

Though I did have one opportunity to hone my skills - albeit briefly - and it involved Ms. 8 1/2 and her 6 3/5 friend. Two-point-Five Shots initiated and engaged the two parties in conversation, and I casually stepped in (our standard technique) - in most cases this results in attention being diverted my way. Anyhow, 8 1/2 outta nowhere whipped out her camera and wanted me, Ken and Two-point-Five Shots in with a pic with 6 3/5 (later Two-point-Five Shots quipped that perhaps the gal from London, ON wanted photographic evidence of the diversity of the T-Dot).

Afterwards the convo with 8 1/2 with something like this -

"Hey now you ought to send us that picture!"
Sure! What’s your email?
Got a pen?
*Shakes head*
What’s yours?
f#&%&ff@uwo.com
You go to Western?! I go to Waterloo!
(Two-point-Five Shots:): MR. ACTUARY HERE.
You want to be an ACTUARIAN? I have a friend who's an ACTUARIAN. Lots of money.
Hahah yup!

So afterwards I was like damn I gotta get me one of them personalized business cards offered by the buffoons in CECS (Co-op department at UW for those not in the know). Oh ya the f#&%&ff@uwo.com? That wasn't meant to block out her email address on this site or anything - that's literally what I heard over all the noise. So on this unfortunate occassion no further contact will be made - the only gain out was my bemusement at her use of the term "Actuarian" (though I did hear someone else say it once before).

Scenario 2: Leaning back, casual, taking everything in style, suddenly girl taps me on shoulder, caught off guard.

"Hey did you go to _____?" (me thinking whothefudgepackers is this... wait she looks familiar.)
.
.
(me:) "You're that singer right? The one from the talent show? Did you try out for Canadian Idol?"
(laughs) "Nooo not quite haha."
.
.
(Standard convo 'bout where we are now, who from our high school goes to which university etc.)
.
.
(upon realization that this was going nowhere) "Well I'm going to go join my girls now. See ya."
(not wanting to betray my boys - bros before hoes after all.) "OK catch you later."

Naturally being caught off-guard + libido was steering towards the negative (let's say that this girl was rather rotund and the waistline appeared to have expanded since high school) I unfortunately didn't get a chance to practice my verbal gifts. BUT I think I have the witty part down pat – though admittedly I can get a little carried away with the word puns. The cocky part should come with the confidence gained through experience + success.

Good night all in all, and a good intro to the Toronto scene.

So Tris I think I'll give Sasha a call now...