Gangster Actuary

Gabriela, an Actuarial Consultant in Cranbury, NJ has come seeking actuarial opportunities in the New York City/New Jersey region.

She contacted me regarding her interest in a position at Metropolitan Life. I forwarded her resume to one Raza whom I had presumed was the actuary responsible for hiring there. Not realizing until later that Raza was no longer with the company, I promptly sent an email of apology requesting that he disregard the resume I had erroneously sent to him.

Lo and behold, Raza calls me several hours later. He is now with Aetna in Hartford, but he proceeded to harangue me over the phone. The actuaries I have spoken to are a pretty dry and stale lot, but this one was quite a character.

Immediately he bombarded me with a list of contacts at his previous place of employment - VP, AVP, Chief Actuaries, people with power (NOT HR!) whom I could/should contact to hook Gabriela up with a job. I was thoroughly pleased with his generosity.

Subequent to that, speaking to him for near a good hour like a close buddy than a professional 40 yr old father of 3 (including frequent use of “fuck” and shit” on his part), he then proceeded to “counsel” me on the actuarial profession and subjected me to a lot of material that I hadn’t quite been expecting. Here’s a few things I learned:

On the personal side, by him:

- My actuary friend in Connecticut is a Scarborough boy. He lived in a brown apartment with a curved edge on the corner of Scarborough Golf Club Road & Lawrence Ave. East.

- Now he’s living the high life; wife, 3 kids in a $435,000 house in Glastonbury, Connecticut. Our boy has come a long way but still a proud Scarborough boy at heart. He remembers his CSTs with the boys fondly (CST = Coffee Shop Talk).

- He’s an alumnus of Cedarbrae Collegiate, Class of 1982. Told me back then, kids were TOUGH, not pussy “gangsters” like today. He told me about all the shit that went down back then - the drugs, the fights. Cedarbrae Collegiate had the first (and AFAIK only) race riot way back in 1975.

- He studied ActSci at UT. I’m a Waterloo student; says he won’t hold that against me.

- Waterloo ActiSci = SOA exam-prep. And if I don’t come out with at least 3 SOA exams, I’m an idiot and he’ll slap me.

- Thought the name Gabriela was hot. Reminded him of Gabriela Sabatini. Back in his day, Gabriela Sabatini was the object of every teenage boy’s wet dream.

On the professional side, by him:

- My manager hooked him up with his first job at Ernst & Young, way back in 1989.

- Actuarial market in Canada is effectively dead. US is where it’s happening. Manulife, Great West, Sun Life, and Canada Life, and are (effectively) all that’s left in Canada. Meanwhile, US market is huge.

- When he was downsized from Citadel in 1992 (now swallowed up via consolidation, no surprise) he couldn’t find work for 3 years. He finally landed a Director position in Chicago. Then was a Manager in New York, New Jersey, now a Small Group Actuary in Hartford.

- Canadians have gross misconceptions of the US. Told me not to listen to the CBC or Prof. Rob Brown.

- Revenue Canada robs you blind; the net income of an actuary is significantly higher in the US.

- A Mustang GT in Canada is $35,000 CDN. Where he’s at, it’s $20,000 US.

- Told me to get my Fellowship ASAP. Why? You get more pussy once you’re FSA. And American girls are not prudes like as Canadian girls. Told me to consider the Northeast, but thought I’d like Chicago best. Chicago girls are easier than Manhattan girl. It’s the Midwest - country girls are easy.

- On the other hand NYC girl have seen it all. In Manhattan, a Toronto boy like me is country.

- Asked me to come down and visit. I told about our road trip plans (now on hold). He volunteered to put us up in his basement if we ever came down. Knows of a motel in Hoboken, New Jersey where it’s $70/night (lived in this motel for a month!) So that’s right boys, we’ve got our man in Connecticut.

Talking to actuaries… would make a good Rick Mercer special, wouldn’t it?