Encounters with Americans

Had a few interesting exchanges with the locals this past weekend. I had three WTF moments.

Scene 1

I’m walking down Washington Blvd. to the mall when this mentally deranged white dude starts yelling “fucking Mexican motherfucker.” Was this mofo referring to me? I didn’t want to cause a scene but damn cracker, if you’re gonna hate, get your races straight.

Scene 2

I’m at the Gap making my purchases. The middle-aged woman cashier asks if I’d like to save 20% and enroll for a Gap card. I can’t say no to a good deal. I nod. I’m beaming from ear-to-ear. “Does it matter if I’m from out of town?” I ask. “No,” she says. “All we need is your photo ID and VISA.” So I’m filling out the form, which is always painful and time-consuming because writing out my entire name is like spelling out the alphabet. Then she feeds my data into the system, or at least tries to, but I think it crashed the system – I think it was the letters in place of the zip code that did it. I didn’t get my discount. :(

“Just visiting?“ she asks. “I’m actually working here for 4 months, I’m on an internship.” “Are you from Toronto originally?“ “Yup!” I say, proud to represent the T-Dot. “Oh, I’ve been there before. My son had a hackey tournament near there. In Lindsay.” Now this is the second time someone mentioned Toronto in conjunction with hackey, the first being my banking rep. at Wachovia, Zack Morris.

Scene 3

This time I’m at the cash register at A&F. The burly blonde gay guy behind the counter rings in my purchase, types something into the computer, and says “Whereaboot”.
Me: “Pardon me?”
Gay guy: “Whereaboot”
Me: “I don’t understand.”
Gay guy: “Where. Aboot”
Me: “Oh. Canada.”

WTF? I thought it was Canadians that allegedly say “aboot”. Yet I’ve spent nearly all my life in Canada and I’ve never heard anyone say “about” the way this guy did. Or maybe I’ve got this crazy condition where I hear aboot when I should be hearing about and vice-versa.