Cool Groups

Last week I tuned into something that I hadn't seen in a while. That's right, MuchMusic brought back Electric Circus. But this time it wasn't hosted by Monika Deol or Juliette Powell. No, they had the current crop of no-name yahoos VJing. It sucks how Much is catering to a younger demographic by the year.

Watching Electric Circus is fun, and one of the funny things about the dancers on EC is how demographically skewed it is - in fact it looks more like Miami in there than Toronto. I think there's an internalized implicit understanding that certain groups are cool, and certain groups are not cool. And either Much makes a conscious effort to block out the not-cool groups, or the representatives of the cool groups overwhelmingly try out, and the non-cool ones don't.

So which are they?

Cool Groups

Jamaicans
The quintessential epitome of cool, a Jamaican can do no wrong. Unless you're a cop.

Italians
Great food, fun culture and have contributed a lot to arts and civilization.

French
Rep for being snobby and elitist, but there's something very refined and sophisticated about them. Like everything French is associated with high culture.

Japanese
Manga, anime, Nintendo, Pokemon, DDR... crazy, but cool.

Filipinos
The laid-back pseudo-Latino Asians - if you see a stocky bald Asian guy in a fur coat, he's probably Flip.

Spanish/Latino (non-Mexican)
Got the whole salsa Hola! I am Fernando Latin Lover natural suave.

Persians/Lebanese
Don't mistake them for the other desert people! A very stylish and generally good-looking group... although too many Persians drive Jettas and think they're Gino.

Punjabis
Have managed to separate themselves from the idol-worshippers, and they got the whole bhangra thing going. Although too many Punjabis think they're Persian.

Mixed
Being a hybrid ups the cool factor big-time - the more exotic the mix, the cooler. Usually come out better looking too.


Not So Cool

Indians (non-Punjabi)
Funny accent, funny smell and totally inept in matters of courtship - that's what a legacy of arranged marriages does.

Chinese (mainland)
Nerdy, asexual... but getting better compared to the bowl-cut folks from before. Correlation between cool factor and proximity to the coast?

Mexicans
The only Latino group that's decidedly not cool. Might have to do with the short, stocky, moustachoied, Speedy Gonzales border-hopping meatpacker/gardener stereotype.

Anglos
Dour, stale food, bad teeth... overall boring. But they're ruthlessly efficient and good at building civilization, and they gave us parliamentary democracy and Canada and for that they earn props.

Germans
Bad history.

Jews
The overachieving kid in school everybody hates. Also see above.

Arabs (non-Levantine)
Blow up too much shit.


Up in the air

Chinese (Hong Kong)
Generally a stylish group, but money doesn't always translate into good fashion sense, and the styles can get really really outlandish ($300 for a Red Green flannel jacket?!)

Koreans
Most people mistake them for Chinese or Japanese, but they smoke and they're really tight-knit and got their own thing going. And when Koreans get into something, they get really fanatically worked up about it - like Evangelical Christianity, soccer, dry-cleaning...

Sri Lankans
The only group that can pull of the Ludacris look... without looking ludicrous. Lots of Lankans can pass for black, and this gives them automatic cool cred.

Vietnamese
Kind of like the Lankans of the Far East (tropical, strife-torn, mostly Buddhist). Real tough Gangsta Asians who run nail salons.


So how about an EC that's more reflective of the true demographics of Toronto? But that's like asking for a UW that's more representative of Ontario. Won't happen.