Ari Gold: The Art of Insult

The standout character by far of HBO’s Entourage is Ari Gold, the fast-talking, insult-trading, maniacal Hollywood agent who represents Vincent Chase, among others. Ari Gold lives for Ari Gold (although it’s Mrs. Ari that pulls the strings). Ari Gold will push, prod, bully, demean, and employ whatever other psychological intimidation tactics it takes to get his way. Belittling, racial insinuations, sexual harassment – for Ari there is no other goal than gold.

So I have a cockroach that owes me some money. Roland Xu. A few months back, we were both headhunters at a recruiting firm. As I was departing form the company at the time, we struck an oral agreement that he’d send me my share of the coin when our bonus arrived - $300. The boy agreed.

Now I’ve been trying to get in touch with this punk for months - to get my share of the money – but the pussy refuses to respond to emails, because the pussy knows I can’t track him down. Now the only head being hunted is his.

Now what would Ari Gold do if an associate steals a client or reneges on a business deal?

hey cocksucker

you know what they call turds that don’t respond to e-mails? PUSSIES AND FAGGOTS. at least, that’s what I reminded your mother as she went down on my 8-inch dong. don’t worry, I slapped her till the bitch swallowed. hard.

there’s a term we use here. it’s called ethics. look it up you ESL cunt

Classic. Held back no punches with this one. Outed him for the worm he is. Shredded every pretense of masculinity (of which this turd possess none). Preyed at every FOB's deepest insecurity – wiener size and language fluency. And I even show my compassionate side by teaching him the virtues of an important principle at the very end!

The above will appear for several hours on Roland Xu’s Facebook wall. Until the little maggot gets around to deleting it, it will remain there for all to see. Ari would be proud.