Hitch Doesn't Deliver

Hitch is Will Smith, a professional consultant who helps guys get girls. It’s an interesting premise and the movie starts off well enough. But then it tries to cover too many bases at once and moves all over the place. Who was responsible for the clumsy editing?

There appear to be 3 concurrent subplots: one in which Hitch helps Brennaman (an obese, clumsy tax accountant) get with a wealthy Paris Hilton-type figure his company is providing consulting services for, one in which Hitch himself tries to get with a Hispanic tabloid journalist of some sort, and one in which a naive southern girl, friend of the tabloid writer, who is routinely played by men - a jerk-off investment banker who’s prime interest is “fuck’n’chuck”. (He attempts to solicit Hitch’s service but Hitch turns him down. You see, it isn’t Hitch’s role to get guys laid…) So the tabloid writer mistakenly believes Hitch helped the i-banker, gets mad at Hitch, Hitch then explains to her she’s wrong, she doesn’t believe him initially but then figures out she’s wrong, and then they make up and live happily ever after. Oh, and the fat guy gets the girl.

Anyhow, the movie itself was alright (6 out of 10). +2 for the fat guy. At times though with all the NYC skyline and montage shots though, one has to wonder whether this film was sponsored by the New York City Board of Tourism. In other words the movie doesnt fulfill its potential. There was room for so much more – Will Smith and a fat white guy who can’t get laid - think of the comedic possibilities! Under a more competent director the movie could have been much funnier. Yet the film quickly descends from a sort of social commentary on how nice-guys-always-finish-last-in-the-dating-game into a clichéd wishy-washy Saturday afternoon-TBS-chick-flick.

Take a look at Bedazzled – similar premise (Brendan Fraser is granted seven wishes by the devilishly delicious Liz Hurley to romance the woman of his dreams, but each of his wishes go horribly wrong.) Director Harold Ramis puts it altogether so well! Delightfully hilarious movie!

But there were some interesting things that Hitch said that I took note of.

1. 90% of communication is non-verbal. “Meaning 90% of what you say isn’t coming out of your mouth”

2. Guys like the jerkoff investment banker is the reason why Hitch even has a job. Meaning nice, decent guys like Brennaman always fail in the dating game. Cuz they’re bo-ring.

I'm taking Hitch’s advice to heart.

Rating: 7/10