Awkward Acknowledgements

Earlier today, I was in one of the buildings on campus. There was a long lineup, and as I was walking towards the end, a girl who was waiting in line waved at me. I didn't recognize her. My first thought was - is she waving at me? Yes, because there was clearly noone behind me. Then I thought she must have me mistaken for someone else. She's cute, maybe I'll impersonate him... I got closer up -- no wait, she looks familiar...

"Hey Sophie."
"I'm Claire."

*crickets*

I did a quick mental scan of all the Asian girls I knew named Claire. There were two, and it wasn't the other one...

"Oh right, Claire, from New York!"

Claire had interned at my company in the New York office over the fall, and I had met with her and the other New York co-ops over lunch one time. Oddly, I was only able to place her because I knew of a UW Claire working in New York - I hadn't remembered her face at all. All the same, it's good knowing that this person had made an attempt to remember me, even if I didn't recall her - it's good knowing you made an impact. That feeling of importance is a fundamental aspect of the human ego.

So what happens when the other party doesn't recognize you at all, or has you mistaken for someone else, or just gives you a blank stare? Clearly there is an imbalance in such a relationship - one party considers you a person worthy of interest and has taken the effort to store you in their memory-bank. The other person considers you a forgotten memory. And because the other party has failed to reciprocate this sentiment, it could lead the "acknowledging" party to feel slightly slighted.

Starting yet another year on campus, I find myself increasingly getting into these situations. It could just be that my brain is clogged with theorems and state capitals and sitcom outlines and useless junk that my memory - particularly my capacity to recall faces and names - has eroded these past few years.

Suppose you see someone whom you consider only a passing acquaintance. If you pass them by on campus, do you still acknowledge them and go through the obligatory stop-and-small-talk formalities? Or do you pretend as if you don't know them, and wait for the other person to acknowledge you?

I think we all find ourselves in these awkward situations from time to time, especially us Waterloo co-ops as we start the year on campus here. Owing to the rotating study/work sequencing, we shuffle back and forth from campus a lot. Often, I see people on campus that I haven't seen for a while, and I'm not quite sure whether I should give the nod as
(a) I could have the wrong guy/girl .
(b) The person doesn't remember me, resulting in an awkward, embarassing "who's this douche?" moment. (As above.)

Likewise, there may be people that remember me from way back whom I would not have acknowledged because I'd forgotten them entirely. Had Claire not acknowledged me, I would have stood there in line - genuinely oblivious - and she may have the misperception that I was giving her the cold shoulder.

Thus, when in doubt, my motif is to wait for the other party to initiate the acknowledgement, to stave off the potential for embarassment. Of course, when the other party is also going through the same thought process, this leads to an awkward, silent stalemate.