Toronto: Polite but Unfriendly?

Something non-political for a change.

Came across an entertaining blog post on a DC man's impressions of Toronto.

My overall impression of the locals: Everyone is exceedingly polite and unfriendly. Sounds paradoxical, but it’s true. They say “excuse me” and “sorry” a lot, and will always answer any question you have, but they never smile or strike up conversations with anyone. Even couples walking together seemed to be on two different planets. Crime is low. Six months of killing winter frost puts the kibosh on that.

If you go there to pick up women, don’t expect any fools’ mates. Chicks simply do not check out guys. Stone-faced and looking straight ahead is the order of the day. They are as chilly as the climate. I was told Toronto men never approach women and most have zero game, so how anybody hooks up is a mystery. Intimate social circles where men and women just sorta kinda fall into each others’ genitalia must be the default mating method.

This jives in contrast with Sydney:

Walk into a shop, and you're more than likely to be greeted with a loud, cheery "How you going, mate?" Also, say "thank you", and they they won't say "you're welcome"; instead, they'll say "no worries". I think that in essence epitomizes the difference between polite, reserved nature of Canadians and the open, friendly character of Australians.

And Singapore:

Eye contact from strangers passing by. I noticed a lot more of it happening in Singapore. Of course, there's the inevitable brown-on-brown stare-down, when the offending party (usually a skeevy moustachioed brown guy) tries to figure out what species of brown you are and whether you are one of his kind, and in my case it's not exactly discernable at first glance, so I always get the creep glare and whether in Singapore or Scarborough, that's universal everywhere. But I even found myself getting eyed by the local Chinese girls, much more so than over here. Maybe I stack up well against the local dudes - certainly there aren't many whites guys or black guys to compete with. One pretty office-worker type even smiled at me from a bus stand as I jaywalked across the street and boarded a cab. That pretty much never happens to me in Toronto.

So what accounts for the coldness of Torontonians? Demographics account for part of it. People tell me New Yorkers are friendlier - random strangers will start conversations on the subway - but the three biggest groups there are Jews, Italians and Puerto Ricans - all known for their extroverted, in-your-face personalities. In Toronto, we have dour WASPs and cliquish Asians. Throw in cloudy skies and cold weather half the year, and a smorgasbord of immigrant "no English" ethnic heterogeneity, and you have a potent mix that results in great deal of basic courtesy to get along harmoniously, but not a lot of openness. Sydney is a WASP+Asian city, but they have the whole relaxed laid-back Aussie thing going - and the weather there is a hell of a lot better. Of course, addressing everyone as "mate" breaks the tension... We should seriously bring that over here. No more of this lame "you're welcome" - Americans don't say it, and I don't think even Brits do anymore. Despite the diversity, Toronto still has that residual stoic, Puritan, pull-the-curtains-over-the-shop-windows-on-Sundays Anglo-Saxon Protestant foundation. We gotta evolve, mate!



(You know it's bad when a guy needs extensive training to start a conversation with the ladies here.)